Best Albums of 2016

Ignoring the fact that I never posted last year’s list of the year’s best albums, my year-end lists have tended to be multi-post, overwrought affairs that have tested the reader’s patience and my ability to beat the clock before the calendar turns and the list becomes irrelevant. Fewer than eight hours remain in 2016 and…

Best Albums of 2014, Part 3

The following is the third of three posts that will list, in reverse order, the 64 best albums of 2014.    21. Bleachers, Strange Desire   20. LC Cooke, The Complete SAR Records Recordings   19. The Roots, …And Then You Shoot Your Cousin   18. Jungle, Jungle   17. Gary Clark Jr., Live   16. First Aid Kit, Stay Gold…

Best Albums of 2014, Part 2

The following is the second of three posts that will list, in reverse order, the 64 best albums of 2014.    46. Weezer, Everything Will Be Alright In the End  45. Sam Smith, In The Lonely Hour   44. Jack White, Lazaretto   43. Benjamin Booker, S/T   42. Prince, Art Official Age   41. Parquet Courts, Sunbathing Animal   40.…

Best Albums of 2014, Part 1

The following is the first of three posts that will list, in reverse order, the 64 best albums of 2014.  64. Alt-J, This Is All Yours                     63. Weird Al Yankovic, Mandatory Fun    62. She and Him, Classics 61.  John Hiatt, Terms of My Surrender   60. TV On the Radio, Seeds   59. Liars, Mess   58.…

Rotisserie Robin Hood

  A stripper-wear designer in Davie, Floriduh has gotten more than 300 free rotisserie chickens in the past year after taking advantage of a store policy guaranteeing that all sales be priced as advertised or removed from the bill. Janet Feldman, 57, realized that many of the rotisserie chickens the store advertised as weighing two…

Star Seminole Steals Shellfish

  Reigning Heisman Trophy winner Jameis Winston is the first celebrity to be featured on this page and he has earned that honor after having been issued a civil citation from sheriff’s deputies after he walked out of a Publix supermarket without having paid for $32 worth of crawfish and crab legs. After Publix employees spotted Winston…

Microbrews Banned By Legislators With Microbrains

  Republicans in the Floriduh Legislature are in the process of ruining the craft brew industry in the state. According to a commentary in The Tampa Tribune (which referred to the governing body as the Flori-duh Legislature” a bill being pushed by the Florida Beer Wholesaler’s Association — the lobbying group for beer distributors –“seek to gain…

F-ck You, Pay Me

  The court system in the United States was established upon the idea of “innocent until proven guilty.” Leon Hughes decided not to avail himself of the presumption of innocence when police investigators in West Palm Beach, Floriduh asked Hughes about his neighbor’s car, which was set on fire. Hughes told the police to write…

Driving While “Shifting”

  Sometimes the jokes just write themselves. Take the case of 22-year-old Cory Evans from Boca Raton, Floriduh. He was arrested a few weeks ago by Florida Highway Patrol troopers after the police received a report that Evans was driving his semi-truck naked down Interstate 95. And he was masturbating. The semi-truck driver who called the…

UF? NO

  While some residents of Tampa, Floriduh were fortunate enough to see a sun halo in the sky — a phenomenon in which a circle appears to surround the sun after light from the sun is refracted by ice crystals associated with thin, high-level clouds, at least one resident of town thought she was seeing…