Learning to Skate, Floriduh Style

Growing up is comprised of a series of learning situations. You put training wheels on the bike until you’re talented enough to take them off and ride your two-wheeler down the street by yourself. Learning to ride a skateboard is also challenging, but as you improve, you want to learn new tricks. And if you’re…

Woman Scams 92-year-old Alzheimers patient

  Nancy Tsai, the 66-year-old ex-wife of a billionaire, faces charges of conning a 92-year-old Alzheimers patient. The Palm Beach woman scammed the elderly woman into spending $2.35 million on a Bentley and a penthouse. Police also allege that Tsai, a former interior designer and founder of the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation, who, despite her…

Man Exposes Himself Twice In a Month

  It’s a little-known fact that, in order to be a legitimate resident of Floriduh, you have to be arrested at least once; however, even the state of Floriduh can only tolerate so much. Accordingly, 27-year-old Sean Maize was arrested after exposing himself for the second time in a month, this time to a woman working at…

No More Pre-Test Dewing the Dew

  Because standardized testing is, for many students, a high-pressure, high-stakes affair, some schools will take extreme steps to ensure that their students are as ready as possible. For some schools, that means spending a few months teaching students only material that will appear on the test, even if that means that students did not…

Former Mayor Convicted of Drug Possession

Barry Layne Moore, the former mayor of Hampton, Floriduh, was found guilty Tuesday (April 22) of drug possession and distribution. He is scheduled to be sentenced in June. Moore, who only served as mayor for two months before officially resigning in March, was arrested for selling oxycodone. This is the type of story that would…

Got it bad, got it bad, got it bad again

  Recently, we brought you the story of a Floriduh teacher who was arrested for sleeping with a student, and who was also under suspicion of having behaved inappropriately with a younger student at her previous job. Well, it’s time to welcome back Jennifer Fichter, who was charged by the Polk County sheriff’s office with 20 additional…

The Strange Life of “Pervert Dave”

  Last week, we reported about Pervert Dave Cummings, of Crystal River, Floriduh, who died at the age of 64. Monday (April 22), the Tampa Bay Times expanded upon Pervert Dave’s obituary. A Vietnam veteran who claimed to have been aboard three planes that were shot down, killed two people over a 13-month period in the late 1980s.…

Yo Quiero, Representative Eagle

  We’ve all been there. Drunk. Hungry for Taco Bell. Some of us get our friends to drive us. Unfortunately for Floriduh Representative Dane Eagle, none of his staff appeared to be around when he craved a Fourthmeal, so he made a solo run for the border. The Representative was spotted by police in Tallahassee  after he…

Bullets in Your Butt

  A Hollywood, Floriduh man shot himself in the buttocks accidentally with his .38 caliber handgun. The 20-something man was cleaning his gun when it fell to the floor and discharged. According to The Sun Sentinel the man’s name was not released at press time. While a person shooting himself while cleaning his gun would usually earn…

Not Guilty

  As is unfortunately the case in many states, stories about pedophiles in Floriduh are all too common. They are so common that your garden-variety story about pedophiles soon might not even earn a Floriduh Rating of 1. Fortunately, for readers of this blog, Martin Felipe Diego is not your garden-variety pedophile. The Lake Worth man, who…