Got it bad, got it bad, got it bad again

  Recently, we brought you the story of a Floriduh teacher who was arrested for sleeping with a student, and who was also under suspicion of having behaved inappropriately with a younger student at her previous job. Well, it’s time to welcome back Jennifer Fichter, who was charged by the Polk County sheriff’s office with 20 additional…

The Strange Life of “Pervert Dave”

  Last week, we reported about Pervert Dave Cummings, of Crystal River, Floriduh, who died at the age of 64. Monday (April 22), the Tampa Bay Times expanded upon Pervert Dave’s obituary. A Vietnam veteran who claimed to have been aboard three planes that were shot down, killed two people over a 13-month period in the late 1980s.…

Yo Quiero, Representative Eagle

  We’ve all been there. Drunk. Hungry for Taco Bell. Some of us get our friends to drive us. Unfortunately for Floriduh Representative Dane Eagle, none of his staff appeared to be around when he craved a Fourthmeal, so he made a solo run for the border. The Representative was spotted by police in Tallahassee  after he…

Bullets in Your Butt

  A Hollywood, Floriduh man shot himself in the buttocks accidentally with his .38 caliber handgun. The 20-something man was cleaning his gun when it fell to the floor and discharged. According to The Sun Sentinel the man’s name was not released at press time. While a person shooting himself while cleaning his gun would usually earn…

Not Guilty

  As is unfortunately the case in many states, stories about pedophiles in Floriduh are all too common. They are so common that your garden-variety story about pedophiles soon might not even earn a Floriduh Rating of 1. Fortunately, for readers of this blog, Martin Felipe Diego is not your garden-variety pedophile. The Lake Worth man, who…

Our Favorite Floriduh Game

  Look at Charles William Bolen‘s mugshot. Examine it. It’s time to play, “What Drug Is He On?” While he looks like Charles Manson’s younger brother (save for a missing swastika tattoo between his eyes), Bloen did not kill anyone prior to his arrest in Palm Beach Gardens. He did threaten to hurt customers at a Walgreens…

Hot for Guidance

    As we’ve seen over the past few days, stories about teachers who seduce their students are fairly commonplace, and barely rate a 1 on the Floriduh Scale; however, this is Floriduh, so there has to be a twist. In the case of 29-year-old Cecilia Alvarez from Port St. Lucie, the twist is that this school employee,…

Got it bad, got it bad, got it bad

  Earlier today, we wrote about the epidemic of children ending up inside of crane machines. We follow up with the story of a teacher who had sex with her student.  As was the case with the story about the little girl stuck inside of the crane, such stories are unfortunately all too common and would normally…

I’m a prize

  In recent months, the country has suffered from an epidemic of unattended children who disappear, only to end up inside of a crane machine. Often, they are discovered playing with the toys inside the machine. Accordingly, a story about a five-year-old from Fort Lauderdale, Florida who ended up inside of a crane machine would…

Short man, long drive, young girl

  The great news about Floriduh is that the subjects of our stories need not be residents of the state. They just have to get there. Which brings us to the sordid story of Christopher Lanning, a 40-year-old, 90-pound dwarf who drove from Kansas City, Kansas to Longwood, Florida after believing that he was going to meet a 14-year-old…