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A Shortcut Through the City of Angels
In the blazing, godforsaken cityscape that is Los Angeles, where every soul seems bent on some manic quest or the next, I, the last sane Uber driver, found strange solace in the damnedest things. Those squirrels, man, darting across the roads, their tails fluffed up like a 60’s hairdo, reflecting some wild spirit I used…
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An Accidental Leap Beyond Time
An Accidental Leap Beyond Time: Mark Twain’s Sojourn to 2023 Since my arrival in San Francisco, many whispered rumors have tickled my aging ears that I could hardly believe, let alone transcribe. But, dear reader, this present tale I dare to recount is neither a jest nor another of my tall tales. One evening, as…
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MarkTwain.AI
The Tidal Wave of the Mind: The Evolution and Eventual Supremacy of Artificial Intelligence As I regained control of this infernal and confounding craft created by my ingenious young friends H.G. Wells and Nicola Tesla, I found myself tingling all over, feeling slightly confused as the time machine quietly came to rest squarely in the…
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Paco and Annabelle
The godforsaken sun had the audacity to rise again over the city of Los Angeles. As daylight rudely interrupted my slumber through the dusty curtains in my Koreatown walkup, I groaned, accepting the inevitability of another day of madness on the roads of this sprawling jungle. Sometimes, I wonder if I’m the worst driver in…
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Multi-Level Mark
Last night, I found myself ensconced in the leathered bosom of my rolling sanctuary, hard at work arranging the elaborate stage for my latest Uber caper. Like a mad scientist, I was reveling in the cerebral vibrations that come from designing the perfect passenger experience. The sky outside was pregnant with darkness, concealing all manner…
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Foot-In-Mouth Disease
I remember that strange and hazy night, like a dream or a bizarre trip to another dimension. The electric pulse of a nearby dive bar reached out to me, a message in the static ether, a request for a ride from a woman with a 4.4 rider rating. Against my better judgment, for I typically…
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mis felicitaciones – la gente esta muy loca
I’ve been out there on the front lines of Los Angeles, driving the streets and meeting the freaks, the flotsam and jetsam of this sprawling metropolis, and I’ve been on a kind of twisted social experiment. I’ve been slinging compliments like a madman, seeing what sticks, what stirs the pot, what shakes up the souls…
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Here Kitty Kitty
Last night I got a ping from a woman named Kitty. I picked her up at a house near downtown Minneapolis. She had short brown hair and was wearing those thick intellectual glasses that middle-aged woman wear when they want the world to know how condescending they are. I asked her if she was having…
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My Adventures In and a Review of a Tesla Model 3
So after driving(renting) a Tesla Model 3 for 15 days, I would like to share some of my reflections. I opted to rent one of these rather than a Toyota Camry or Corolla since I’ve spent many years behind the wheel and under the hood of Toyotas. That, and in the end, it didn’t cost…
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Predators and Their Prey. Uber and Lyft Rental Programs…A Drivers Perspective.
I am a Los Angeles driver with 7 years of experience and more than 18,000 rides overall. Over the last year, I’ve had the opportunity to use the Uber rental program while my primary Ubering vehicle is in the shop being repaired. Fortunately, I did not have to pay for the rentals and their increased…