But Wait, There’s More

A couple of nights ago, I picked up a well dressed man. He spent a lot of time talking about the vacations he’s going to and the expensive restaurants he goes to. I asked what he does, and he said he has a business. I was extra nice to him, because now Uber is allowing tips, and I was hoping he’d might throw a little my way.

As he got out of the car, I handed him one of the better care packages I’ve reserved for those on long trips. He looked it over and seemed very interested. “I can see you really have a lot of entrepreneurship in you. Don’t you?” He asked me.

“Yes” I admitted, “but now that I’m doing Uber, it’s almost like I’m a business owner” I told him.

“No it’s not” he told me.

We kind of argued back and forth for awhile, but he finally conceded my point, and he said “how would you like to add a new business onto your Uber business? I can give you the secret of what I’m doing.”

He started asking me if it made sense to buy groceries from clubs if I could get paid for buying groceries. It didn’t make sense to me, but I kept listening. “Does it make sense your mom and friends are buying groceries and all the money is going to the grocery store when you could keep some of it?” He pulled out some materials, and he showed me how, with this business, I can get a part of the cost of some home products like toothpaste, laundry detergent, etc. I just need to buy from them, and have some friends do the same. It made sense, but I wasn’t sure if it’d be worth the hassle.

Then he showed me that I could have people selling under me! And they could have people working under them!

He asked me how many daily trips I make, and I told him about 20. He pulled out a notepad and showed me that if I could only sell to one out of 20 people, and if I could only get one person to sell to me once a month, that I would be making well into the six digits within a year!

I am very skeptical, so I took home some information that he gave me and spent a lot of time looking it over. I did the math myself. As good as it sounds, it all checked out! So tonight I’m heading to this man’s home, and he is going to be training me in.

I’m feeling very excited, but nervous. I’ll let you know how it works out.

Late last night, in the midst of a neon-lit city whirlwind, I picked up this sharp-dressed stranger in my battered Uber. The guy was like a character out of a Fitzgerald novel – babbling about exotic vacations and high-end joints where you’d sell your soul for a reservation. Naturally, curiosity got the better of me, and I had to ask, “What kind of racket are you into, pal?”

“Just business,” he said, smirking, his eyes hiding behind shades even though the sun had long gone down.

Maybe it was the recent update in the Uber app that now lets riders tip, or maybe it was the hope of getting a piece of this guy’s overflowing wallet. But I found myself turning up the charm, trying to strike up a rapport. “Hey, anything’s appreciated,” I thought, nudging the universe in my direction.

As we neared his destination, I pulled out one of my special long-trip care packages – a little something I reserve for those who seem worthy of it. He looked intrigued, raising an eyebrow as he said, “You’ve got that entrepreneurial spark, huh?”

Feeling a touch defensive, I retorted, “Driving this Uber’s almost like having my own venture, you know?”

He chuckled, “Not quite.”

We went back and forth like two boxers in a ring, dancing around the nuances of what it means to truly run a business. Just as I was about to land my final blow, he caught me off guard. “How’d you like to expand this gig of yours? Let me show you the magic I weave.”

He started spinning this tale about buying groceries and getting paid for it. At first, it felt like a bad trip. “Why let corporations fill their pockets when you can get a slice of the pie?” he proposed, unveiling his plan where I could earn from everyday items like toothpaste and soap. The catch? Get my buddies on board.

And just when I thought it couldn’t get wilder, he pitched the notion of having folks sell beneath me in a structure that looked suspiciously pyramid-ish. Scribbling some calculations on a notepad, he convinced me that if I could hook just one in 20 passengers, I’d be swimming in green in no time.

Being a natural skeptic, born and bred in the school of hard knocks, I decided to dig deep. The math looked good, surprisingly. And against my better judgment, tonight, I’m heading into the lion’s den — his place, for what he calls “training.”

There’s this gnawing mix of excitement and dread, like standing on the precipice of a cliff, not knowing if you’re about to soar or plunge. But hey, isn’t that what life’s all about? Taking that goddamn leap.

Leave a Reply